Tuesday, April 19, 2005


Thanks to all of you that asked me questions! I loved them and will do them again soon! Here are the answers!

A dream. A fantasy. A book. A poem. The woods. Real and imagined. Solitude and what 'it' may produce from you. A moment with you inner self, away from daily chores. A hidden Mariposa, still in a cocoon. How would she looks like when free from it?

Very nice question. I do not have an actual worded answer, simply because I have something better to answer this with...
This picture:

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My six year old daughter took this picture of me. I was deep in thought, I was, as I like to say "seeking the answers to my little universe...". It was the first day in spring and my soul had opened up and was breathing. Taking in all that was around me.
I love this picture. When she is older I will give it to her and tell her, that it means so much to me, because she took it upon her tiny little self, to take a picture of her mama, that caught me as my true self.

 Why is your blog so lame?
Hmm... lame. Ok. LOL. I laughed at this. Because only I know it's a joke. Nothing I do is lame... it's always fabulous!

Tell me about fun or embarrassing things from grade school and high school.
I remember one time I went to a high school dance. I was late getting ready to go and had just grabbed two pairs of shoes and left without looking. I didn't notice until my friend and I had gone to the bathroom, that even though my shoes were both black, they were NOT THE SAME SHOE. I spent most of the night with one foot against the wall and the other down, so no one would notice.

What are your parents like? My parents are very intelligent individuals. Very free spirited.  They had made choices in life that gave them both hard times. I learned from things that they did and saw how they struggled with things that they chose to do and I put that together with what I was taught while being raised. Meaning, I learned from them. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Ignore No. 1 (why is your blog so lame?). You know I'm kidding, kid.  I know that Hossie!

When was your first kiss? Hee hee... interesting. I kissed a boy when I was 17 years old. I was a very late bloomer in the sexual field of flowers. I kissed him, but being he was only 14, I ended up "talking" with his brother who was 17. I ended up losing my virginity to that brother of 17, and he was a complete jerk. I felt bad about doing that to the younger brother, who was actually a nicer boy and much more sensitive. What is funny is, I thought he was so much more younger than I was, but I married a man that is 3 years younger! Talk about coincidence!

When is your birthday? My birthday is March 1, 1974. Pisces in DA HOUSE! Woot woot! Water signs rule!

Do your have a tub of Vicks Vaporub in your house right now? But of course! LMAO! Half used from this shitty winter we had!

What is the name of your favorite book...movie...song?  My favorite book is Dirty Girls Social Club. It really reached me. It talked to me. And it made me a new friend :) My favorite song is "Somewhere" from West Side Story. And my favorite movie is Stand By Me.

Where were you when you heard about the WTC on 9-11? Did hearing about it make you need to go somewhere else?  This question is very emotional for me. When 9-11 happened, I had just given birth to my oldest son six weeks earlier. I woke up holding my children in my arms ( my daughter was 3 at the time) and answered the phone that was ringing crazily all morning. My mother had called me to tell me what was going on. She told me to turn on the TV. Which I did. When I did, I saw that picture of the dust clouds over NY  from the angle of the Statue Of Liberty in the foreground. I collapsed to the floor as my mother was telling me what was happening. A ton of emotions flooded me, as I held a newborn in one arm and a three year old baby in the other. I felt as if the world was ending, and I would have to watch my world collapse after such happiness was filling it. I had many strange disturbances after that happened. I needed to sleep with my children at all times. I thought that the world would end. I thought my children would die. I kept picturing the whole thing when I would close my eyes. I had a kind of post traumatic stress thing going on and I wasn't even there! I soon had visions of death surrounding me.
I slipped into deep depression and ended up being put on medication because the attacks triggered something in me that had never been let out before. My fear of the unknown. My fear of not being the strength to promise what my children needed promised, a full and protected life.
I now know that as a parent that is not possible, but I learn to take things one day at a time, because that is all we can ever do.

Pepsi or Coke?  Hmm... depends on my moods. LOL. Lately, neither, because I am trying to drink only water and juices. I would have to say Coke though. Lol.

Who or what inspires you? Of course, my children and my husband. But also the world around me. I can meet someone on the street and something about their character might inspire me that day. A squirrel stuck in a tree can inspire me to think about how much I hate them and why they are so evil to me, LMAO.
 A dragon fly might inspire me to think freely. Anything that catches my attention usually inspires me a great deal.

If you could change one thing in your past, what would it be and how would that affect your life today?
I wish I would have had more self esteem and would have realized how much of a good, creative, beautiful person I was as a teenager. I was full of so much and I never gave myself enough credit. I read things I wrote back then and I just want to grab myuself and just tell myself to look deeper and not just at the fact that I couldn't fit into a size 5 jeans! And maybe I would be able to have more sense of self, now at 31! LMAO!

Describe the colors of a Mariposa's soul... Hmm... lots of pinks, blues, greens, yellows, and oranges. Purples for serenity, blues for peace, reds for love and soul. There is also black. The blackness that I try to overcome each day. The blackness that almost had me consumed a few months back. The blackness that is my depression. I fight the blackness and fill it with the other colors each day. It's a struggle to not be in the land of black and death and bones. But my other colors, they are brighter.

does your husband help you with the kids? Yes, he does. There are times he is overwhelmed and has just worked an overtime shift. His bones are tired. His muscles ache. His head is pounding. He works a lot. So that I can be home. He puts his self on hold daily so that we can eat, and live. He helps me even when he feels like this. He gets up with the kids when I am tired or sick or HUNGOVER (like sunday) and I get to sleep in until the afternoon. He makes dinner some nights. He takes the kids outside so I can get a moment of peace. And he helps me bathe them or put them to bed. He has his moments when he wants to do nothing. But so do I. Don't we all? All in all, he helps me tremendously.

Aren't you glad you used Dial? I don't use dial, it makes me itch. I use Lever 2000 or Olay soaps. Silly ass. But the remedy to itch is more cowbell ;)




Anonymous Autumn said...

That's a really pretty picture of you.

Also, I'm stealing this idea.

And furthermore, thanks for answering all those questions. :)

12:18 AM  
Blogger Karla said...

Those were some great question but some even better answer. I teared up when you were talking about how your daughter took that picture of you and how much it means to you. :)

9:30 AM  
Blogger Desiree said...

stealing the idea too! call me an uncreative, unimaginative bastard if you want, but I want people to ask me questions too! :)

12:50 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

oh me too i am jumping on the bandwagon as well and stealing the idea as well.

1:56 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Well done (Hoss says, clapping). I see plenty of pinks, greens, yellows and oranges for you, kid.

2:38 PM  
Anonymous jubie said...

i see a lot of red in you Mari! =)

11:47 AM  

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