Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Freak of nature

I just went off on my husband. He didn't even do anything.

"Why don't you ever push me to succeed?" I asked him.

He was talking about cell phones.

I was talking about life.

He got silent. Confused he said "I never held you back from doing anything you wanted to do. You're full of self esteem, why should I push you when you have all you need inside of you?"

Then I went all woman on him.

"You never push me! You don't want me to do anything with myself? I will not be a lost woman when my children leave the coop!".

Then he wanted to let me go. Because I was going all woman on him, so he could eat his lunch.

Then I cried.

I felt suffocated. Not because my husband said anything or did anything, but becasue I imagined he was suffocating me.

"Never want me to do anything with myself but breed and take care of children? Never want me to succeed? I will show you! You can't hold me down! I will do what I need to do with what I have in my soul!" and I think I pounded my fist on the table. Or something like that. I can't remember, I was all teary and weirdo-like. In a trance.

I always imagine something like this. I always imagine he is some tyrant that he never is. Never was. Never will be.

I am so godamn freakish. Such a freak.

Other crap

My son likes this new Disney show. Called the DoodleBops.

The Doodlebops scare the fuck out of mommy. They remind me of colorful zombies. They are strange. Me no likey. No likey one bit.
Doodlebop Scary Mother Fuckers
Doodle Fucks Part Deux.

if you can't see the link here is an example:

See? See what I mean?

Now THOSE are freaks of nature.

I am irritated. I need a smoke. Bye.


Blogger Desiree said...

hell ya those are scary!

12:26 PM  
Blogger Maddie said...

OMFG!!!! Freeeeaky. I was watching that very same show this morning with Justin and he was in a trance. It was gonna be the subject of my next post, swear fo god! The blue guy... Doesn't he dance just a liiiittle too hard?? And oh my lord with the I can't do the drum solo already. SCARY SHIT!

4:19 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

You do not NEED a smoke. You WANT a smoke. Did you know that spending money on cigarettes helps finance the school system? Oh, and the tobacco companies, too, I guess. Yrs. truly, former smoker of 4 weeks, now.

6:05 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

Ay Mari, You have a wonderful husband here you are going all woman on him and it sounds like he was pretty calm the whole time.

OMG those are scary, who was the person over at Disney who approved that show?

9:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor Mahdee fahdee. I know your pain and anguish. I don't know why we think our husbands are the ones to hold us back. I guess sometimes we feel the need to blame someone else for our own shortcomings. I know I do.


Luv you mucho grande...
Mama Trini

12:07 PM  
Blogger Tee said...

My younger son is obsessed with those stupid DoodleBops. I HATE THEM. They're freaky and make me want to scratch my eyes out. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is seriously disturbed.

11:51 AM  
Blogger mixedupmama said...

my husband suffocates me. Society's role of a mother/wife suffocates me. I feel like a dog with a leash.

4:55 PM  
Anonymous Nevets said...

Yes they are very odd, the songs get in your head and you can not get them out... HELP, all i hear is " we are the Doodlebops here to play"

3:31 PM  

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