Sunday, April 24, 2005

John Mayer has green balls

I had a celebrity sex dream last night.

I dreamt that I went to a John Mayer concert, he invited me backstage, and we ended up doing the deed.

It was really good. Really crazy, and fuzzy at times. He was wild! Yee haw!

I remember at one point looking at his "area" and his scrotum looked like it was made out of green play dough. And his penis looked like it was made out of mismatched robot pieces.

And I met his mom afterwards. Who declared to me that I was such a nice girl, she wanted to be a grandmother to my three children.

I called my friend Trini, and told her I had slept with John Mayer, and she goes "Dude, you're fucking married, remember?". I was all... "yea, oh, yea. But I don't care, it was good, but something weird about him- his balls are green and he has a robotic penis....".

Then I was being stalked by some serial killer that looked like Scott Savol from American Idol, and Freddy Prince Jr. saved me by hiding me in his bathroom. Then Freddy baked me cookies and we went on his personal jet, where Scott Serial Killer Savol chased us some more and then I woke up scared and sweaty.

Why couldn't the sex be without green scrotums and robotic penises?


Blogger The Greek Princess said...

wow! what a crazy dream!!

wouldnt a 'robot penis' hurt? ow!!
at least he was good!! hehe

usually when you dream about having sex, means you are sexually frustrated or dont get enough of it. i may be wrong but its always nice to have a sex dream! hehe

thanks for visiting my blog!!
better late than never girl! ;)

take care!

11:53 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

We used to "black ball" some people who tried to join my fraternity. I think it's the same thing.

2:58 PM  
Blogger Janette said...

I don't care what kind of penis John Mayer has... Was he a good lay Mari?

4:43 PM  
Blogger Mariposa said...

Hell Yeah! LMFAO!!!!!

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Mama Trini and her teeth said...

Trini had a celebrity dream last night too. She dreamt about her Fahdee. She and Fahdee went to Walfart and got hackled by snobs at the checkout who said Valcon shoes were cheap. Fahdee and Trini were wearing Valcon shoes. Then Trini's Intrepid got stolen and so Fahdee stole a baseball bat and went to kick some theif ass. And then Trini ran into an old friend who wanted to be famous so he had disks removed from his back and he became a midget to try to break into movies. Then Fahdee returned disappointed b/c she couldn't find the car theives. So they went back inside Walfart to call the Police. But the Police wouldn't help and Trini's teeth kept falling out. And they went to a police station and Fahdee carried Trini's teeth for her.

And then little heathen children woke Trini up before she could find her car and she was pissed.

The End.

11:24 PM  
Blogger Mariposa said...

OMG TRINI! LMFAO!!!!!!! WTF are Valcon Shoes?

10:41 AM  
Blogger Luis Andrade said...

Interesting you went for the details "after" the fact. Shows a daring personality. Knowing now, what you didn't before, alters in any way your take of the sexual experience with this person? Would it be different a second time because of what you now know? Mind you, you've said the experience was wild and fulfilling to begin with. I'm curious about a second time and/or a revision of the first one... The human mind is a most intricate labyrinth.


11:58 AM  
Blogger Desiree said...

Ay Mari, eres loca!

Thats pretty funny. So, I must be sexually frusterated too then. I ALWAYS have dreams about doin' Derek Jeter. I wasn't lieing before. And its GREAT!!!! I'm in a good mood for the rest of the week!

12:31 PM  
Blogger Maddie said...

Dang, I'm always having them ahem *unfulfilled* dreams. Everyone and their momma keeps interrupting my shit. Some of my celebrity dream sightings: Tupac, Justin Timberlake, P. Diddy, Mariah...whaaaat? me and Mariah was tiiight. No sex stuff with her though, we just got stuck at some brazilian peoples house who didn't know she was famous and they made us do this silly clapping thing before we ate, and she gave everyone tickets cause they were so sweet to us. Oh, and since I speak spanish I could translate a little portuguese for Mariah. Cause I'm cool like that.

1:17 PM  
Blogger Caro said...


i'm sitting in the computer lab of the english building just laughing because johnmayer has green play dough balls.

did the robotic penis have hydrolics? because the idea of it makes me laugh more.

3:01 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

LOL! I keep seeing John Mayer's green balls and cracking up. My co-workers are looking at me funny.

9:34 AM  

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