Thursday, April 21, 2005

knock knock...

I have a tremendous opportunity knocking at my door.

Almost too good to be true.

In fact, so good, that I almost shit myself.

Why do I clam up when things that should be happening to me, happen?

Is it because I feel as if I don't deserve them? Because I feel like I have no clue how to handle them?

I guess you can't help me with that. I guess that is what my therapist is probably for.
Speaking of which, I haven't seen her in like two months. Healthy, good times, huh?

I can't afford to. I want to, but can't afford to. And my shitty insurance only covers so much.

Last time I saw her, I gave her my blog site address. She is probably analyzing my thoughts from her computer desk. Is that why she hasn't called me? Because I scare her? LMFAO!

Lord, I need so much therapy, it's sad.

Which leads me to a thought of peer pressure from the other night, when I sat drunken with "The Lady Upstairs".

The lady upstairs: wanna smoke a bowl?
Me: uh, no thanks.
The lady upstairs: come on! You need to relax a little. You take care of kids all day. I see how much of yourself you sacrifice. I feel bad sometimes because you need to get out and relax.
Me: uh, no thanks.
The lady upstairs: come on! Get a buzz!
Me: I do have a buzz. That's what antidepressants and beer are for.
The lady upstairs: oh.

6 Comments:

Blogger mixedupmama said...

SMOKE THE BOWL!! SMOKE THE BOWL!!!
Just kidding...don't smoke the bowl..how about a 22 oz of Corona???

2:17 AM  
Blogger Janette said...

Let your dr. psycho analyize you via your blog... she probably has some of the same hardships that you do with life, motherhood, etc.
~janette

8:34 AM  
Blogger Karla said...

Girl we are so much a like. I do the same thing as you do.

when something good happens to me i always clam up or i think nah they must have gotten the wrong person. I don't know why it is so hard for me to accept the fact that i deserve good things as well.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

yeah...i hear that....

hahaha, people make me laugh.....they're all part of the "establishment"...smoke the bowl!!!!

sorry.....we're studying the 60's in AP US...lol

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Old Horsetail Snake said...

So, so, what's the opportunity? Did you get sidetracked? Did you smoke the bowl, after all?

2:02 PM  
Blogger Maddie said...

Take that opportunity girl! I mean what is the absolute WORST that could come of it? You learn a little more for the next opportunity that comes by. It's a win-win situation.

3:45 PM  

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