Grandbitch
Grandbitch
I need to give you a real quick explanation of my relationship with my Grandmother from Puerto Rico, before I go on any further.
It's non-existent.
She decided to "kill me off" in her mind back in 1999. For whatever reason, she had never really explained.
She is half cracked in the head. Never was completely there. And from what my mother tells me, there is a HUGE history of depression and "cracked nuttiness" on my materal side of the family.
THAT explains a whole fucking lot. Thanks for telling me this AFTER I HAD CHILDREN, MOM!
Just kidding.
Anyway, when she came to Ohio back in 2003, I decided to call her up at my uncle's house where she was staying. To try to make amends of our "situation" and to FIND OUT WHY she had decided I wasn't worthy of her.
Know what she said to me?
In spanish and really mean?
"You are dead to me. You are no more to me." and she hung up on me.
She had never seen The Boy, and knew I almost lost him during a very scary pregnancy. That he only had a 50/50 chance of survival in my womb.
But yet, didn't give two shits that she was now IN THE SAME STATE as we were and that we were living TEN MINUTES away from where she was staying. Didn't wanna see him or The Girl.
She just told me I was dead.
So, I went through a sort of grieving process where it was like she died. And I cried, and I remembered her when I was little and how much she meant to me. And then I let her go. I had closure and I let her go.
Me and mom talk about her and my grandfather- (oh yea, he called me like five minutes after she hung up on me and said "this is probably the last time we will talk in our lifetimes, I love you, goodbye.")we talk about them in past tense. It's kinda sad. But, hey.
On to what I was gonna say about today and why I am talking about them, in particular her evil ass.
My aunt had stopped by today, to drop off some job openings and numbers for my mother (because my mother is sinking into a deep depression I can tell. I need to help her. No matter what.)... And when she was leaving, I gave her some little wallet photos of the kids I made with my photo printer. One is the one I have over to the right in my blog description of the three kids.
My aunt goes " I will have to hide these from your uncle. Your grandparents have been asking him to sneak them a picture of your kids so they can see them".
I started laughing. I said, "please hide those, he will send them and I don't want evil eyes laid upon my babies heads." she said she would put them in her cubicle until my uncle's obsession about sneaking pictures subsides.
Then, she said- "that woman wouldn't appreciate them anyway. She bitched to him back in 1999 about how you sent her CHEAP AND HORRIBLE pictures of The Girl for Christmas that year. She said something about how you are so cheap you took the baby to K-Mart for Christmas photos...."
I about gasped.
THAT IS WHAT SHE IS HOLDING A GRUDGE AGAINST ME FOR? FOR FUCKING PICTURES I SENT TO HER OF HER ONLY GREAT GRANDCHILD AT THE TIME? BECASUE I was too poor to go to a fucking PROFESSIONAL photographer and have them take her pic? HOW FUCKING SICK IS THAT?
So then I told her... "Know what! Tell Uncle Vinny I am gonna SEND HER SOME SPECIAL PICTURES OF THE KIDS." She gave me this look and grinned.
"Mari... no, you are not going to, are you?"
I smiled and said "for the old grandbitch, I am going to dress them in clothing too small, with dirty faces and barefoot in the mud, and then send her a fucking 8X10 and tell her I had them professionally taken just for her. I mean afterall, wouldn't you want to see pictures of your hillbilly assed great grandkids before you died?"
I know if I was an evil old grandbitch, I would want to.
I need to give you a real quick explanation of my relationship with my Grandmother from Puerto Rico, before I go on any further.
It's non-existent.
She decided to "kill me off" in her mind back in 1999. For whatever reason, she had never really explained.
She is half cracked in the head. Never was completely there. And from what my mother tells me, there is a HUGE history of depression and "cracked nuttiness" on my materal side of the family.
THAT explains a whole fucking lot. Thanks for telling me this AFTER I HAD CHILDREN, MOM!
Just kidding.
Anyway, when she came to Ohio back in 2003, I decided to call her up at my uncle's house where she was staying. To try to make amends of our "situation" and to FIND OUT WHY she had decided I wasn't worthy of her.
Know what she said to me?
In spanish and really mean?
"You are dead to me. You are no more to me." and she hung up on me.
She had never seen The Boy, and knew I almost lost him during a very scary pregnancy. That he only had a 50/50 chance of survival in my womb.
But yet, didn't give two shits that she was now IN THE SAME STATE as we were and that we were living TEN MINUTES away from where she was staying. Didn't wanna see him or The Girl.
She just told me I was dead.
So, I went through a sort of grieving process where it was like she died. And I cried, and I remembered her when I was little and how much she meant to me. And then I let her go. I had closure and I let her go.
Me and mom talk about her and my grandfather- (oh yea, he called me like five minutes after she hung up on me and said "this is probably the last time we will talk in our lifetimes, I love you, goodbye.")we talk about them in past tense. It's kinda sad. But, hey.
On to what I was gonna say about today and why I am talking about them, in particular her evil ass.
My aunt had stopped by today, to drop off some job openings and numbers for my mother (because my mother is sinking into a deep depression I can tell. I need to help her. No matter what.)... And when she was leaving, I gave her some little wallet photos of the kids I made with my photo printer. One is the one I have over to the right in my blog description of the three kids.
My aunt goes " I will have to hide these from your uncle. Your grandparents have been asking him to sneak them a picture of your kids so they can see them".
I started laughing. I said, "please hide those, he will send them and I don't want evil eyes laid upon my babies heads." she said she would put them in her cubicle until my uncle's obsession about sneaking pictures subsides.
Then, she said- "that woman wouldn't appreciate them anyway. She bitched to him back in 1999 about how you sent her CHEAP AND HORRIBLE pictures of The Girl for Christmas that year. She said something about how you are so cheap you took the baby to K-Mart for Christmas photos...."
I about gasped.
THAT IS WHAT SHE IS HOLDING A GRUDGE AGAINST ME FOR? FOR FUCKING PICTURES I SENT TO HER OF HER ONLY GREAT GRANDCHILD AT THE TIME? BECASUE I was too poor to go to a fucking PROFESSIONAL photographer and have them take her pic? HOW FUCKING SICK IS THAT?
So then I told her... "Know what! Tell Uncle Vinny I am gonna SEND HER SOME SPECIAL PICTURES OF THE KIDS." She gave me this look and grinned.
"Mari... no, you are not going to, are you?"
I smiled and said "for the old grandbitch, I am going to dress them in clothing too small, with dirty faces and barefoot in the mud, and then send her a fucking 8X10 and tell her I had them professionally taken just for her. I mean afterall, wouldn't you want to see pictures of your hillbilly assed great grandkids before you died?"
I know if I was an evil old grandbitch, I would want to.
posted by Mari at
2:27 PM
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