Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Chucha the Chicken

The other night, my friend and I decided to hang out at the park while our daughters were at Brownies.

After quickly realizing that the beach section of the park was filled with more washed up tampon applicators than we could count, we began to head back to the car.

We saw a couple. And a chicken. A couple and a pet chicken.

I wasn't gonna say anything, but Trini had to. "Is that your pet chicken?" she asked as I tried not to laugh out loud.

"Jes, she itsa ourrrr pet." Said the woman with the Russian accent.

"Cool... how cool is that!" Trini giggled with enthusiasm.

"Howww cute!" I said as sarcastic as I could be.

"Jes, she vaz given to us for the soup pot, but we decide zat ve love herrr too muchs..." Said Russian lady.

She went on to tell us that the chicken's name, was Chucha. One letter off from Chocha. Which, for you nonspeaking Spanish, means women's genitalia. Chocha is like saying pussy, or like saying coochie, or- well, you get the idea.

Chucha, the chicken.

Trini kept asking questions, that made me want to laugh. And kept saying nice things about Chucha. "Wow, what beautiful colors on her beak. And look at how nice and white she is...." She was right, Chucha had really pretty feathers, big brown eyes, and a pretty bright red beak.

"Jes, I give her bath and make her fluffy. Her legs are blue, see? And her feets are blue (she shows us her "legs and feets") and when I first give her bath, I could not get the you know to be clean and then I realize her you know is blue too!". Thanks for describing chucha's chocha, Russian lady.

"They are talking abouts you Chuuucha! Don't talk dirrrteee about her!" said the Russian man. He cradled Chucha in his arms and pet her gently, like a dog.

The Russian lady told us she was ready to lay eggs (Chucha, not Russian lady). That she had a little box filled with hay and things for her to feel at home in and that she was "fooorrrt-eee years oldah".

"Wha- what?" asked Trini with her bewildered eyebrows sticking up.
"Jes, she is forrrteee years oldah... I look up on internet, and it say that she vill leeve to be abouts eight yearrrrs old." Then we realized she said she was four and not forty years old. Chucha, not the Russian lady.

She also tucked Chucha under her coat and under her tit to show us how Chucha likes to be cradled by Russian woman and be warm.

As we left, I had strange thoughts about Chucha wearing thigh highs and being the new "Subservient Chicken" for Burger King. Complete with a website and pictures of her wearing lingerie.

As we got into the car I said "Only us, Trini. Only we could find a couple at the park with a pet fucking chicken."

"I know. Only us." she said giggling.

"But one thing, I wanted to ask and didn't have the balls to ask is... Does the chicken have large talons?".

Trini just stared at me blankly.

14 Comments:

Blogger Janette said...

I pet chicken? I've never heard of anyone keeping one as a pet. Mari, you are going to start a new craze... everyone is going to go buy a pet chicken today. ;)

8:12 AM  
Blogger Karla said...

LOL a pet chicken??? Wow now i have heard everything.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

wow...simplemente, wow.

2:14 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Why are chicken boobs called breasts? Anybody? And why don't they have nipples? I guess my Mom didn't tell me enough about the birds. Told me plenty about the bees, though.

3:26 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

SHUT UP MARI!!! YOU DIDNT ASK THAT!!! LMFAO!!!

I wonder if it did? WHAT THE HELL ARE TALONS ANYWAY?

I'm having a long, stupid and busy day and you made me smile for the first time today - Thank you! :)

5:37 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

And by the way girls - my parents have pet chickens and ducks, and use to have a turkey. Whats so weird about that??

5:38 PM  
Blogger Janette said...

Des,
Do they live on a farm with all of the birds? Or in the city?Did you guys eat them?

11:10 PM  
Blogger Suezette said...

This is flippin great! Me and my friends aren't the only freak magnets out there! Classic! Just classic! BTW, my mom had a pet chicken that used to follow her around all over the yard. Ummm, that was until my Great Grandpa Lupe wrung it's neck and had him for dinner one night. My mom still gets sad when telling that story. We rotten children just laugh! Yes, she does eat chicken today, but we have to hear the story every so often! Funny stuff!!!

1:08 AM  
Blogger Maddie said...

My brother had a pet chicken. Yep. They did some project in his school where they kept some eggs in an incubator to see if some would hatch, and one did and my brother being the sap that he was begged to take it home because he thought they would take it to the bibero(poultry market). Funny thing is, he was afraid of the darn thing. He made my mom feed it every night. I don't remember what he named it, but it did live for about 2 years. Pecked the shit out of the drywall down there...

2:00 AM  
Blogger Maddie said...

Oh, yeah Mari...
Send me some pictures so I can start working on your desktop. The bigger the file, the better.
Love ya!
Maddie

2:02 AM  
Blogger Desiree said...

Mari,

Last night I was in bed staring at the ceiling, trying to sleep, and you're freakin post creeped into my head, and I just started laughing again like a foo!!! Good thing I was alone!

And no they don't live on a farm, we just have horse property in the back so why not throw so extras in right? NO - WE NEVER EAT OUR POULTRY!!

1:05 PM  
Blogger Mariposa said...

LMFAO! OMG Dez!!!!!!!!!
You crack me up! I am glad I make you laugh, even when I am far away.
Can I have a chicken? Can I name him Pedro?

2:06 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

No, because then you guys will try to eat the little guys! All our chickens are named lets see...Cluck cluck, little, and I forgot the rest....

2:09 PM  
Blogger Secret Pinup Girl said...

ROFL! I want a pet Chicken! I bet the cat would LOVE that! Something to chase around the house. Not like the feather pillow on my couch makes enough mess.. but still.

Mari, only YOU would run into someone with a pet Chicken!

OMG! I nearly forgot about the Subservient chicken! The nightmares will come back now! LOL!!!!!!!!!

1:34 AM  

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