Sunday, July 10, 2005

People are people

I lied. I am back. I can't live without sharing my strange observations about people, while selling my used goods.

So far I made a hundred bucks. Decent for a bunch of baby stuff I actually BOUGHT at a yard sale just last year myself. Well, not completely true, the larger things such as swings and a basinett were bought from my neighbor's yard sale last year. All clothing was bought by ME. Lots of clothings. Lots and lots of clothing. Lemme tell ya though, I have realized, people are strange. And cheap. And just, well, just strange.

Take yesterday for instance, I had people who were so cheap they didn't wanna pay two bucks for a pair of BRAND NEW SHOES. I was like "excuse me? I NEVER WORE THESE! TWO DOLLAH! OR NO BUY!". The lady bought them and huffed and puffed. Then I had a woman discount her own merchandise because she "had to go to the store to buy batteries". I was like "You know what, take 4 bucks off, whatever, only because it's a baby swing, but when I bought it... I HAD TO BUY MY OWN BATTERIES LADY!". GODAMN MAN! Then she made me demonstrate that the swing actually worked with my nine month old son in the swing. Have you seen my son? He is HUGE. He is like 25 pounds, and he looked like a pork sausage in a tight casing when I used him to demonstrate that :

A. the swing worked WITH HER BOUGHT BATTERIES.


B. that a baby was actually safe to be in the damned thing.

After Ryan bitched her out in baby language, she bought it for 14 bucks... with ten bucks of baby sleepers I gave her for 7. So all in all she paid 7 for the swing and 7 for the clothes. THE SWING WAS ORIGINALLY 13 bucks. I was desperate to get her the FUCK out of my yard, so I sold it to her for that. Then she goes "How do I fold this up? My gramma is in my backseat and my boyfriend messed up the trunk last week at a party...". I was like "Oh wow, I dunno. Ask grammy to scooch over cause I never folded that up before." I lied. I laughed to myself. And then her grammy was all scrunched up in the backseat with a sourpuss face. Oh well.

Today I had a woman tell me she wanted to buy the baby bassinet. I told her I would sell it for 10 bucks. She said her daughter would come back to pay for it and then buy some baby clothes from me because she was due in three weeks and had yet to buy a crib. I told her I would put it aside if she could give me a definite time when her daughter would come and pick it up. She said "Oh! Give her an hour, two at tops!". I put it aside. And... Three and half hours later no one came. I put it out in front again, because ya know... people are people and they sometimes lie. After about 5 hours I had someone come and ask me about it. "How much?" I told her fifteen but I would sell it for ten because I needed to get rid of it and didnt want to lug it back in the house." She agreed but asked me if she paid me if I could store it in my garage for the night until her neice could come with her truck to pick it up. I agreed... and then... as I agreed... THE LADY FROM SIX HOURS EARLIER CAME IN A VAN WITH HER DAUGHTER. A short argument ensued while the daughter exclaimed " MY MAMA CAME HERE EARLIER TO TELL HER I WANTED THAT!" the other lady was like "TOO LATE ITS MINE!" then the mama came out of the van and was like "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME!? I told you I would be back!" I was like "Look, you said two hours tops. I held it for three and a half. No show... no buy. So I put it back out and this lady wants it! YOU NEVER CAME BACK!" the lady who had paid me for it said to me in whisper "I can't do this... that poor girl is pregnant and looks about to cry... gimme back my ten and sell it for the fifteen it's worth. You can use another five for her giving you hell." So I agreed... I sold it for fifteen... and they agreed and then I go "look, sorry about that, but you never came back when you said you would, and lots of people do that. I make no profit if I keep things on the side for too long. I tell ya what... since you got so upset... I will throw in this baby seat for just two extra dollars." CAN YOU CALL ME SALESWOMAN? I made 17 bucks on items I spent 11 bucks on last summer. LMFAO! Should I call myself Larry Dallas. No... Larry Dallas is slimey. I am just a good saleswoman. I also threw in a Blue Jean Teddy bear baby room border for free. So don't call me Dallas, yet.

Then I had another lady tell me that the baby clothes was over priced. I HAD THEM FOR A DOLLAR EACH! ALL CHILDRENS AND ADULT CLOTHING WERE PRICED AT FIFTY CENTS TO A DOLLAR EACH! I was like "hey... where else can you get six baby sleepers that were either never worn or worn once for a dollar each? I can sell those on Ebay and make a bigger mint." she rolled her eyes and walked away. WHATEVER!

Don't get me wrong. I had nice people too. People who were sweet, and made nice comments about how clean and beautiful all the baby items were. A woman commented on what awesome shape the clothing was. And I had a pregnant lady say that she was so happy she found my sale and was excited to go put her new things in her babies room. It made me feel good. And almost always, if someone spends five dollars or more, I throw in a couple onesies or another sleeper in for free. I even threw in a carseat cozy for one customer because she spent over twenty dollars. So yea, I am not that Larryish, yet.

Anyhow, I have one day left. I hope I sell the rest, if not the stuff I have is going to my neighbor ladies daughter, because she is having a baby in September. I have an antique baby highchair up for sale, tons of baby clothes, some maternity things, and a couple of borders left. All the big stuff is gone gone gone, and I am so glad I have more room in my house. Sad that Ryan grew out of them so soon, but glad he is getting into bigger and better things.

So in the few days I have made my own little boutique di grass and yards... I have learned the following:

  • I can indeed burn myself with a cigarette twice in one day while counting change for someone.
  • People are strange and cheap sometimes.
  • I can really hurt my back bad, while helping my mother in law transfer a console television from the eighties, from the garage to the lawn.
  • You can get sunburned even when in the shadiest of areas.
  • When you try to summon people with your mental telepathy powers, to come and buy from you... it doesn't really work.

Want some clothes? They're free.


Blogger jamwall said...

yeah mari, i think you need a yard sale bouncer. if i happen to be in ohio i can whoop them good with my cowbell!

1:42 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

I'm not sure all the grief was worth it. Maybe next time give it to Salvation Army and take a tax dodge.

Or get a better class of buyers....

11:23 AM  

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