Monday, September 06, 2004

Jordan is no knight of mine!

Jordan is no knight of mine...

I watched Surreal Life last night. I watched it because the love of my teenage wet dreamdom would be on there. I thought we could rekindle some sort of teenage wet dreamdom once again.

He let me down. Oh so bad. He took what little innocence I had stashed away in my teen filing cabinet of my mind, and he ripped it all apart.

Jordan Knight did nothing but prove to me, that he is creepy. And further more, even creepier in a red striped polo shirt, that my girlfriend referred to as "a child molester type shirt...".

He looked bloated. Bloated and grey. He looked like a grey bloated, dead fish. And he acted like one as well. I told my friend "he looked like Patrick the starfish on Spongebob, all bloated and chunk like..." But even Patrick is pink and fleshy. Jordan was dead skin.

He was rude, ignorant and just plain nasty. And when he decided to take a room all to himself, and make Ryan Starr of American Idol fame whine even more than she does already, I could have beat him with a stick.

He then retreated to his little room, he stacked huge metal boxes that he brought with him in front of the door way, so no one could bother him. He boxed himself in a room, people. He made a drunken Brigitte Nielson fall on the boxes and as she screamed and whaled in pain, he pretended to be asleep and smirked at her screams for help.

He also said to Dave Coulier that "the Olsen twins are hot..." once again, adding to the striped Chester the Molester shirt factor. Coulier looked at him in disgust and moved away from him.

What the fuck JK? The Olsen twins could be your neices for chrissakes! You are like 33 and they are like just turned 18. You nasty bastard. You nasty, striped shirt wearing, box piling, grey bloated fish looking little bastard. You creep me, dude. You took all I had thought of you and you squashed it. You squashed it with a striped shirt, a bloated look and the words "The Olsen twins are hot."


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