Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Dirty One

Dirty One

I am thirty one. Or, as I like to say it, Dirty One.

At the stroke of midnight I thought I would glow all glittery and look radiant and feel that "happy birthdayness" we all used to feel as kids.
But I ain't a kid no more.

Thirty was cool. Novelty age. Thirty one feels like something different. Why?

Man, where did time go? I remember just turning 21 and getting so drunk I passed out. And I remember clubbing in my early twenties and being a complete moron and in a total self destructive mode in all areas of my life. "Weeeeeeeeee! I have no responsibilities!!!! I can self destruct! WEeeeee!"

And then I remember one day, I was a MOM. A mom. Now I am a mom, with three kids. How did that happen?

Don't answer that, smart ass.

I feel old. Washed up. Saggy. I use Olay cream to banish off the evil crows feet that are hanging out in the rafters, waiting to attack me. Even though my husband says I look young ( yea, he hasn't even turned 30 yet!) And my little girl says "Mommy you are young! Not old! You will be 41 in ten years! I will be 16!" Gee thanks baby girl. I can hardly wait for THAT.

People, nice people, have said I look 10 years younger than I am. Thanks nice people. I appreciate your kind words. They make me feel better.

But I still feel old. It's not about how I look. I feel old.

This entry makes no sense.

See!? I am already not making sense.

Again, I wanted to write a meaningful entry about something sentimental, and I can't. It's not happenin'.

I need sleep.

The baby has a COLD. The pediatrician told me to do what I am already doing. Because it's just a COLD.

I feel old and my baby has a cold. La dee da dee dee. My vagina is saggy and my eyes are big and baggy. La dee dee dee dee.

I want cake.

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