Saturday, August 13, 2005

someone take them. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

My kids are so fucking demonic today, that I have realized it is indeed possible, to love and hate your children all at once.

Sounds kinda harsh, doesn't it? No. Not fucking really.

Fighting, arguing, clawing, pulling, climbing, screaming, whining, eating, drinking mess of insanity that is soooo unfucking real, that I really do not want to be here. And if I could, I would run so fucking far away, they would not find me for days. I say days, because they would find me. They always find me. They are like tiny little zombies seeking blood. They always find me. And when they find me I will have a six pack of Coronas and a dozen sugar twists from the bakery. I will be on a small island in the middle of Lake Erie, wearing a tutu made out of moss.

I asked for it? Ohhh. Yea. I see where you are going with this. I did ask for it. I know that. But you see, when I asked for it I was in a pink and glittery haze of love and hearts and rainbows and sparkles. I was 23 years old. I thought I knew all there was to life. I thought I had lived the life I needed to live. I was wild. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I did the drug thing. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I did the slutty thing. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I did the alchoholic thing. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I did the dysfynctional family drama enough for 34 life times. No. No weee. Sometimes that is why I think I decided that I needed to be as wild as I was.

I met Keith, love, love, lovity love love love. He was sincere. He was gentle. He was handsome. He was in love with me and I with him. Insert more Weeeeeeeeeeee Here.
He loves me. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I love him. Weeeeeeeeeeeee! We have an apartment. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! He gave me orgasms. Weeeeeeeeeeee! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Oh Oh Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! He was responsible. Weeeeeeeeeeeee! He was independent. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! He was all around a perfect soul mate for me. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I wanted more more more more more more more. I wanted so much more, well I should say, WE wanted so much more, we decided to reproduce more human beings in our own likeness. I was pregnant Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Babies, and duckies and outfits and booties, and strollers and baby food and diapers and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Then we had two. Then we had three. Weeeeee. No Weee. Weee is over. Weeee is gonna be on hold for a lonnnnnng long time.

I was young. I know that. I am aware I wanted three babies and a husband and a life I had dreamt of when I was a little girl. But nobody ever warned me of the side effects. The side effects being that sometimes, your cute babies can become demonic and make you lose you ever loving fucking mind.

For you single gals out there, don't say I didn't warn you. You are now warned.


Blogger Desiree said...

Geez louize! what a great flippin' post. betweent that and special deliveries last night on discovery health channel, I'm thinking I'll keep the legs closed for the long haul!! Or, get on the pill quick. Like today.


Much love mari!!! :)

12:38 PM  

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