Friday, August 19, 2005


I come on here to post, and I find myself deleting posts instead. I feel a blogger block going on in my brain. I can't figure out why that is. I had no problem before, so help me out here, it's beginning to get old.

My daughter goes back to school next week. Can you say: "A la escuela que te la pela!"... my mother used to say that to me as each summer would end. It was a sort of taunt as in "back to school you go" but not really in those exact words. I loathed when she said that, So now I find myself saying it to my daughter as she cringes and runs off screaming "Nooo! I don't want to gooo!".

My oldest son will be going to preschool sometime this fall. When I am not sure, it depends on when his mother gets her drivers license. I don't have a drivers license you ask... nope. I don't. Why? I can't really give one answer. There are many, and one being I am a huge fucking scaredy cat. I had my temps at one point, and even had a car for myself, but we needed money at the time so I decided to sell it, and there went my motivation to get my license. That was when Mya was 1 years old. I also learned how to drive back in 1995, but backed into a gas pump at a gas station while I was high on pot and my brother was sitting in the backseat. Him and one of his little friends. Luckily the children nor the car blew up, and I drove home feeling like a complete idiot. Hey... no one said I had brains when I was younger. I went home hugging and kissing my then 11 year old brother and thanking God over and over that I didn't kill him. Also, I was in a car accident when I met Keith. So add those things together with the fact that I was never really taught to drive at the age of 16 like most of you were. I just kind of put it in the back of my file cabinet and decided to take it up whenever.

So, now is whenever time. I need to have it. I have three kids, and I hate depending on people to take them places, or wait until my husband comes home from work to do groceries or take the kids to appointments. It's a huge nagging part of my life that I need to get going.

Ryan is taking small steps, and has gone from being my sweet angel faced baby, to being a complete MONSTER. He eats like one, too. Can you say BRUISER? He will be one years old in two months and I am going through denial. "I JUST GAVE BIRTH! IT'S TOO SOON FOR HIM TO BE A TODDLER!" it's worse than when I had the other two get so big so fast, because he is my last baby, and it eats at me when I look at him and feel the need to sponge his babyness into my brain so I will never forget it. Soon no more baby feet, and no more sweetness, soon he will be talking back to me and running from me instead of loving and kissing on me. Denial. Queen of denial I am.

I am feeling the need for yoga, or something. I used to get up each morning at 6 a.m. and do the yoga with that little creepy guy from Oxygen channel. The bald one that looks like a Chester Molester. The one that plays stuff like P.M. Dawn songs and his yoga people dance while twisted up in strange positions? Yea that one. But I enjoyed doing it because it helped me wake up and feel peaceful. I felt nice and ready for my day. I think I am going to start doing it again.

Here is some Ryan goodness:
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Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Driving is a lot easier than having babies. So don't sweat it. You are good to go.

1:28 PM  
Blogger Maddie said...

True Dat. (what oldhorsetailsnake said) Girl, I procrastinated about getting my license forever too. It was easy to do when I had access to trains and buses and driving was actually a royal pain in the ass, what with the traffic and the parking.

But then I moved to west bubbafuck and NEEDED to drive, for the very same reasons you need to drive. Because I hated depending on others. Because I'm a mom, and moms need to take their kids places. You will do this, and you will be very happy you did. I know it.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Terra said...

Hey, I guess I have to read you both places to get the full effect??lol I have diaries everywhere and now I have one here just so I could note you. It's hard telling if I will actually use it or not, guess we'll see. I don't have my license either. I took drivers ed in school and took the test a few times but I always messed up the maneuveribility because I was nervous. And then life got in the way of even trying. I was thinking about doing so again soon. Tired of waiting until Amos is home to do things and not being able to just take Dom to the park or wherever when I want to. I'm such a procrastinator though and I am scared I will never pass the test, even though I know I COULD do it. It's just a matter of me relaxing and not being so nervous that's the problem. Good luck, hope you get your license hun. *hugs* Oh, and I will probably note your OD as well. And I'm sure you figured out who this is but if not it's TBaby from

11:01 PM  
Blogger Evelina said...

Geez. With gas prices today, I wish I could never drive again. Used to be I worked to pay for new shoes. Now I work to pay for gas.

Oh, and Ryan, QUE COSA MAS BELLA! Gorgeous! Love him!

7:52 PM  

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