Wednesday, October 20, 2004

The story of my boy.

The story of my boy

He was born... sorry I haven't posted, I wanted to share with you all the story of my boy.

Being home has been good. I feel a lot better. The first couple days I was a bit overwhelmed with everyone coming over here, and with my mom being here and just everything.
I was home, but I had to readjust to being home and with a new little person, and a million people wanting to hold this little person. I cried a couple times, because the hormones were a bit much. I am much better now, though. lol. A nice cocktail of B vitamins and prenatals are making me feel back to normal.

Well, the birth was not picture perfect. Ryan is, but the birth will forever be a reminder in my mind, that tying my tubes was the best thing for me. I suffered a large blood loss, had to have a transfusion. It was traumatic, but worth it in the end.

When we got to the hospital they got me ready and I kept telling Keith that I felt something weird was gonna happen. He kept telling me to relax, but I couldnt. They wheeled me into the OR and gave me my spinal anesthesia. The anesthesiologist had problems giving it to me and hurt my nerves when he shot the first attempt into my back and it hit a nerve in my hip. He then had to redo it over again. I wanted to kill him, it hurt, and I never had that hurt before.

When they got me prepped, K wasn't in there yet, they put the curtain up, so I couldn't see below my chest and he still wasn't there. I thought I heard them begin the operation and still... no K. I was getting upset. Then I saw his sweet scrubs and his eyes behind them. I felt more at ease. He said they called him in there too late and had already begun, but it wasn't near the birth yet. So he sat with me. I began feeling kind of funny. Almost like someone was sitting on my chest. I told him this and he told the anesthesiologist, who in turn gave me more of something that made me more woozy. I would drift in and out of conciousness, which never happened before. I was always wide awake for the kids births, and K was getting concerned. He would call my name and I would come to, and still feel a weird sensation.

Soon, we heard the doctors say "you're gonna have a baby here in a minute"... K looked at me and told me to hold on, not to close my eyes, I mumbled I love you a couple of times, because I was scared. Soon, they were pulling and tugging with such force, it felt as if they were cracking my ribs open, they said "wow, big baby here, here he comes, broad shoulders!" and soon I heard him crying. They held him up and he was all goopy and fat and cute and screaming his butt off. I cried and told K to go over and cut the cord with the doctors. He said he would wait, he was concerned about me. I told him no, just go. So, he did. But he came right back. He didn't want to leave me there alone.

I could hear Ryan screaming, and honestly, that was what kept me ok. I was kind of scared, because I wasn't feeling right. K, kept stroking my hand and telling me it was almost over.

I could feel them snipping my tubes and it was really strange. While they were doing that, I was having a strange feeling again, in my chest. When they closed me up, it went away.

Soon, they handed me Ryan and I cried so hard. I couldn't believe he was here. I cradled him in the nook of my arm as they wheeled us back into the recovery.

My mom was waiting for us there and said he was huge and they were going to weigh him. I was ok for awhile, they weighed him, he was 9lbs and 7 ounces. I was in shock! I didn't think he was that big!!!

They were cleaning him and let us hold him awhile, and then I began feeling funny. I told my mom the pain was bad and getting worse, I told her I felt like I was in actual labor. The nurses told me that it was my uterus contracting, but I knew it was something else. Something was not right.

I soon felt a large gush of blood and huge clots, the size of a baby's head coming out of me. I started screaming and the nurse checked me, she said "Oh my god, I need the house doctor!" and she ran out of the room, my mother gasped and K turned white.

I felt more gushing and more clots the same size coming out of me. In ran 5 nurses and the house doctor who told me "honey, we have to do this so please hold on..." Soon, the doctor and nurses were pressing so hard down on my incision and had to go inside and pull more clotting out of me. I was in excruciating pain, screaming and trying to crawl within myself, I could feel myself trying to drift away so I couldn't feel this pain, and it took all I had within myself not to kick someone in the face. Here I had a fresh incision, in my uterus and people were pressing it and pulling on it. It was the worst pain in the world and I wish it on no one.

At this time, K began to lose it, he was feeding the baby for the first time and then this all happened. He handed the baby to a nurse and ran out of the room, my mother followed crying. They coudln't bare to see me like this, they later told me. They said I seemed to be giving birth vaginally.

They soon controlled the bleeding and stopped. They cleaned me and gave me more meds. I was crying and K came over and held me. He told me was sorry. And I said "why are you saying sorry? You didn't do anything." the nurse said "when you see someone you love, go through pain like you just did, you feel like he does, honey."

They soon moved me and the baby to our room and I was at this point feeling all kind of strange things. I knew K and my mom would be leaving soon for the night and I didn't want them to. So I was very teary and very emotional. They waited for me to fall asleep.

When I woke up through out the night, I was itchy all over my skin and bleeding a bit more. The nurse said the itchy feeling was from the DuraMorph ( a type of morphine). So she gave me some Benedryl to help me sleep.

The next day, the nurse on call said she was afraid I might have to get a transfusion, because my bleeding was so bad. I ignored her, I didn't want to hear it. I called K crying and he told me to relax, and that he and the kids would be there soon.

I held the baby and ate some lunch and thought I would be ok. The kids came with K and his sister and visited for awhile. Soon, though, I was feeling sick again. I had a nurse try to help me in the bathroom, but she left to get some linens for my bed, and when she came back I was on the verge of passing out on the bathroom floor. Two nurses came in and had to give me fainting salts under my nose. Soon I was being lifted to the bed again, my temperature was rising, and my blood levels dropping. My kidneys were acting funny, too.

I felt like I was dying, to tell you the truth. I told K, "please leave, take the kids, I don't want them in here seeing me like this." So he did. When he left they came in and told me I needed the transfusion.

I made a call to my mom and K and let them know. K was already on his way back after dropping off the kids. By the time he made it back they had just begun the transfusion.

Within an hour of the transfusion, I felt better. My levels were rising, my kidney's were working normally and my fever was gone. K joked to the nurse at one point, that "I have never been so happy to hear her bitching about how her hair looks like an afro." She started laughing. I was pissy cause I caught a glimpse of my hair and it looked like HELL. LMAO.

By Saturday night, I was feeling so much better it was amazing. Sunday I was able to walk around, my family and friends came to see me and everything seemed so much better. Seeing everyone made me so happy. Even though I was a sweating mess because of the meds, I was so glad to see everyone.

By Monday night, I was crying and wanting to go home. I had the baby with me in the room for the last 2 nights, and was so eager to go home it was insane.

I will never forget this experience, as painful and scary, it was worth it, and in the end, I look at Ryan and I am so blessed it is insane. I would go through all this over again, just to have him in our lives.

Please welcome to our world...
Ryan Joseph


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