Friday, September 24, 2004

Spoon Girl has a mama, watch it!

Spoon Girl has a mama, watch it!

My kid came home today upset. When you have a kid, and they are upset, you feel it, you live it, you want to make it go away for them. She told me some boys at her table said she drew trees like green spoons. My kid is quiet, she doesn't bother anyone. I want those boys heads on a platter.

I told her "next time they tell you that, tell them "GODAMN RIGHT! THE BEST SPOONS THIS SIDE OF THE COUNTRY, ASSHOLES!"
No. I didn't say that. But I told her to tell them to not to worry about her trees. And if they kept it up to tell her teacher they were teasing her. But she doesn't want to make anyone mad at her. I want to beat those boys. Asshole boys. Don't make fun of my spoon girl.

I told her they probably liked her trees, and wished they could draw trees like that and therefore, made fun of her trees instead. She looked at me sideways and said "ok, can I have a brownie?" If she can eat a brownie and forget after venting, why can't I let it go? Because she is my baby. My princess. My twinkle butt. She has been my twinkle butt since she was born, and will be my twinkle butt when she is 50. And from boys making fun of her spoon trees, to boys breaking her heart, to her being in a relationship when she is 30 friggin years old and having problems, whatever hurts her, hurts me ten katrillion times more.

My baby girl. I just want to smoosh her and love her and put her in a bubble when things like this happen.
Now, mama needs a brownie.

On to other news of motherly love...
Cletus the fetus seems to like it in there very much. I don't think he is gonna come out before the 8th. I had some appointments today, I had to take little man with me and take a bus, and walk some ways, then I had to walk to the store and get some stuff, get back on a bus, and walk to get Mimi from school because she had early dismissal, you would think all that walking, would make a huge woman whale go into labor? No. Cletus was fine. FINE OH FINE OH FINE. He was in there loving the rocking back and forth of my wobbling waddling ass. He is going to be an easy sleeper. Just rock him back and forth and back and forth and waddle like a duck and I swear he will be as content as content can be. He likes his wombly surroundings. I have a feeling when they pull him out of there and into the light he is gonna scream "WHAT THE FUCK MAN! TURN THAT SHIT OFF! I WAS COMFORTABLE IN HERE! PUT ME BACK!" He is a Libra. He was destined to be so. And he will not accomadate my whining, just because.

My three year old son feels my pain. As I laid on the couch he came over, sat next to me, stroked my hair and said "Me make you all bettoh, mommy. Me takey the Ryan brother out...." and he proceeded to pretend to pull and push on my belly and held his hands up in the air ala Lion King style.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-so vennnnnaaaahhhhhh---- Hammmmaa cheeeecchie mooooo maaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


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