Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Mama's little lion fish

  He is so full of vinegar. My son. My oldest son, my middle child.

One moment he is as sweet as a sugar cube, the next he is hissing with anger. He doesn't know what to do with his anger, so he does what he feels... he hisses. Like a cat. And he scares kids when he hisses. And he bites. He says mean and horrible things. Things that shouldn't come out of a small three and a half year old's mouth. Not bad words. Not things that make you think he will kill a small animal, but things like "I hate her. I hate you. I hate this." or "Stupid poop head."

As funny as it sounds reading it, it isn't funny when it happens. I am trying to help him learn how to channel that frustration and anger into something other than hate or anger. To channel it so he make something of it, and to go on. But I myself am just as confused as how to do this.

My poor Keith Matthew. My poor little middle boy. Not the oldest, once the baby, now stuck in the middle with me. You and I are so much the same. You may resemble your father in all physical ways possible, but your tiny little soul is inherited from my own. So fragile. So scared. Confused, yet strong willed. You could be my little Pisces, Keifer. You could be more a Pisces than the Leo you were born. My small little lion fish.

I tell him daily, as I rock him in his favorite chair, "I love you, you know that. You are my baby boy, and I always will love you." and he whispers softly, "I know mommy. I love you too." And I feel so full of tears I could overflow a bucket.

This has been a rough year for you, my son. A rough year full of transitions that your small soul can sometimes not muster. You don't know how to take it. You don't know what to do with it. But I promise you, we will figure it out, together.

7 Comments:

Blogger test said...

Oh Gosh Mari,

I SO KNOW what you mean! My daughter will be 4 next month and the things that come out of her mouth....ah dios! Hang in there...they'll know how much we love them someday, right?

~Crazy Showgirl

1:51 AM  
Blogger Alisa Lynn Valdes said...

Alex bit, too. He has yet to tell me he hates me, but he can be mean. I like to think we outgrow it, but I'm afraid I'm still in that fucking stage. Oh well. George W. is a stupid poophead. See?

2:42 AM  
Blogger test said...

My daughter has said "I don't love you Mommy" but then immediately recinds it, she knows that's a mean thing to say.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Mariposa said...

Thanks ladies.
It's a tough age. Not to mention all he has been through with moving to a new home last year, being a new big brother, and so on and so on.
I wish I could figure it all out in one moment so I can make it better for all of us. :(

2:18 PM  
Blogger tannia g. robles said...

I think we all go through it. through our teen years we sometimes feel that we hate our parents but deep down we love them even when they get on our nerves.

7:11 PM  
Blogger Evelina said...

LOL Alisa! I've called at least one person a "stupid poophead" this week. Well, maybe not those exact words. Worse actually. But let me tell you, working with kids 8 hours a day, 4 days a week. I see it all. One kid told his mom yesterday "I'm going to throw this book at you" (as he held the book over her head) because she told him she couldn't take him to Chucky Cheese until Saturday!

11:27 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

It's a tough stage but he will get through it because he has a great mami. By the way Mari that is the cutes pic of him.

9:21 AM  

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