Tuesday, November 30, 2004

All up in my gimp grill

All up in my gimp grill

Did you see Oprah today? Did you?
I did. I watched it while talking to my beloved Sissy.
I wanna be Bernadette from Starbucks. Know why?
'cause Bernadette from Starbucks, who has nine kids (3 being her brother's kids, because he is on heroin and dead or something similar) and lives in the shit projects of Chicago, just got her kids a shopping spree of $15 K at Toys R Us. And oh yea, and also, Oprah got her that cute guy who does all of Oprah's redecorating, she got him too. Well, not him, but for him to redo ALL of her shitty half broken furniture. Well, not to REDO it, but to REPLACE IT. And then, Oprah also got her, a NEW HOUSE TO PUT ALL THE NEW STUFF IN.

I told Sissy... I was gonna go and hang up the phone, because I was now going to go gimp myself all up, and then write Oprah a letter, and show her how I gimped myself up real real bad, and how all my kids walk barefoot in the snow to and from school while they get pelted with stones by people and squirrels and how they have pelting wounds from it. Also because we eat food out of donut store dumpsters, because we need to eat. And how we need our very own new house, with new appliances that people didn't donate to me second handedly.

Well, all of that except the last part is false. I don't own a house yet, Oprah, but I would like to. And throw one of them cars you were giving away like fucking CANDY, too. Please Opie? I will suck your left tit. Well, not really, but I will brush it with the back of my hand if you want me to.


Blogger A~ said...

Your shit cracks me up, bad!

5:08 PM  

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